http://www.sakshi.com/news/top-news/pensioner-in-legal-battle-to-be-allowed-to-kiss-his-wife-of-67-years-250819?pfrom=home-top-story
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/elder/11690011/Pensioner-in-legal-battle-to-be-allowed-to-kiss-his-wife.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3133295/Pensioner-87-taking-council-court-win-right-kiss-wife-67-years.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/elder/11690011/Pensioner-in-legal-battle-to-be-allowed-to-kiss-his-wife.html
Pensioner in legal battle to be allowed to kiss his wife of 67 years during care home visits
Thomas Middleton, 87, told to stop "constantly" kissing dementia suffering wife of 67 years during care home visits
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6:43PM BST 21 Jun 2015
An 87-year-old man is taking a council to court for the right to kiss hisdementia-suffering wife of 67 years during care home visits.
Pensioner Thomas Middleton said he feels like a “prisoner in a civilised country” when he sits with Joan, 84, in her nursing home because staff supervise every moment.
He has been told to stop “constantly” kissing her and has been made to sign an eight-point agreement if he wants to continue seeing her.
It includes a promise to only kiss his wife “when he initially arrives and when he leaves” the Aspen Court care home in Derby.
He claimed during one visit two police officers were called to tell him to leave after he was seen putting more water in to her tea because it was too strong.
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The rules came after a review claimed he was “constantly kissing, pulling and poking his wife, which she protests about”.
Mr Middleton told MailOnline: “When I go to the care home there is always a member of staff who sits next to me. I get no privacy with my wife. They write down everything I say to her.
“I'm treated like a prisoner in a civilised country.”
Mrs Middleton has been in the care home since 2010 after being diagnosed with dementia and Parkinson's disease.
An attempt by Mr Middleton, who served in the RAF in the 1950s, to allow her visits back home led to the review last year which resulted in Derby City Council issuing the new rules.
He was also accused of getting “nastier and nastier” with his wife when she didn’t respond.
Mr Middleton said: “I've never said a bad word to my wife in all of our 67 years together.
“I love her so much. She is my life.”
A spokesman for Derby City Council said: 'Where a person lacks capacity to make a decision for themselves ... any decisions made are done in the best interests of the adult following consultation with all parties involved, including family members.'
Pensioner, 87, fights council for the right to kiss his wife of 67 years during visits to her nursing home
- Thomas Middleton is taking Derby council to court for right to kiss his wife
- Joan, 84, has dementia and Parkinson's disease and lives in a care home
- Mr Middleton told he must stop 'constantly' kissing her to continue visiting
- Council issued eight-point behaviour agreement following review of case
A devoted husband says he has ‘lost the will to live’ after care home staff told him to stop kissing his dementia-stricken wife.
Thomas Middleton, 87, was told he may be banned from seeing his wife of 67 years unless he agrees not to kiss her ‘constantly’ during his daily visits.
The pensioner was asked to sign an eight-point behaviour agreement following a review which says he can only kiss his wife Joan twice, once on arrival and once on departure.
Mr Middleton, who said he has been left severely depressed since the couple were separated, is trying to raise money to fight the decision by Derby City Council in court.
He asks potential supporters on the crowd-funding website CrowdJustice to ‘help me fight the council for the right to kiss my wife’.
Time for action: Thomas Middleton is taking a council to court to win the right to kiss his wife of 67 years when he visits her in a nursing home
Mr Middleton told MailOnline: 'It has been hell for me since my wife was taken away from me on the 4th September 2010.
'I've been wanting my wife home ever since. I can't sleep at night – it's terrible for me.
'When I go to the care home there is always a member of staff who sits next to me. I get no privacy with my wife. They write down everything I say to her.
'I'm treated like a prisoner in a civilised country.'
Ban: The pensioner, 87, (pictured with his wife Joan left in 2008 and right on their wedding day) has been told he will only be allowed to continue seeing his wife if he agrees to stop 'constantly' kissing her during his visits
Mrs Middleton, 84, who suffers from dementia and Parkinson’s disease, has lived in the care home in Derby since 2010 after initially being looked after by her husband at home. Mr Middleton’s daily two-hour visits are supervised by staff after a court ruled in 2012 that his wife lacked the capacity to make decisions on her needs.
Mr Middleton said: ‘I have no privacy whatsoever. They write everything down.
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‘A minority of staff there criticise me on every visit for interacting with her, and I now fear going to the care home at all.’
The father of three has also been told he must not try to feed his wife or make her more comfortable – which should be left to staff.
‘This situation has caused me deep depression and I have lost the will to live,’ he said. ‘My visits to the care home have been heavily policed by staff – they criticise me for kissing my wife, for taking care of her personal hygiene.
Joan, 84, has lived in the Derby care home for almost five years after being diagnosed with dementia and Parkinson's disease. Mr Middleton told MailOnline his life had been 'hell' since she moved out of their hom
Requirement: Derby City Council has insisted that Mr Middleton sign an eight-point agreement because a review found he was 'constantly' kissing his wife
‘Nor do they allow my wife to visit the family home on special occasions such as birthdays.
‘I don’t know what I’m allowed to do when I am there.’
Last year Mr Middleton’s lawyers asked care staff to allow him to have unsupervised and longer sessions with his wife, and to let her visit him at home.
However, the request prompted a review conducted last August, which resulted in Derby City Council issuing the behaviour agreement.
The review said Mr Middleton was ‘constantly kissing, pulling and poking his wife, which she protests about’, according to The Sunday Times.
It claimed he had little understanding of her health needs and got ‘nastier and nastier’ if she did not respond to him.
Care home staff reported feeling intimidated by Mr Middleton, while there were also concerns that he would not return his wife if she were allowed a visit home.
However Mr Middleton, who served in the RAF, claimed the criticism was inaccurate, saying: ‘I’ve done nothing to my wife. I love her so much. I don’t want to leave her.’
The Trent Centre for Human Rights has taken on Mr Middleton’s case and he has turned to CrowdJustice to raise the £4,000 needed for legal fees.
In his appeal, which received more than £100 in donations on its first day yesterday, he wrote: ‘There is some complexity around the law relating to human rights and vulnerable people, and this case could set the precedent.’
Mr Middleton’s brother David, 90, said that he was struggling to cope without his wife, with whom he previously enjoyed going dancing five times a week. ‘They never went anywhere without each other,’ he said. ‘He wants to be with his wife – he doesn’t have other interests.’
Court action: Mr Middleton has launched a fundraising appeal via crowdfunding wesbite CrowdJustice to raise £4,000 for legal fees to take Derby City Council (pictured) to court
The couple ran a cinema club for 35 years and went on caravan holidays in the West Country. They have three children but Mr Middleton has fallen out with them.
A spokesman for Aspen Court told MailOnline: 'We are following the instructions of a court order which has been put in place to protect a resident who has dementia. Our residents’ health and wellbeing is our absolute priority.'
A spokesman for Derby City Council said: ‘Where a person lacks capacity to make a decision for themselves ... any decisions made are done in the best interests of the adult following consultation with all parties involved, including family members.
‘Where parties do not agree or the decision is complex, it is necessary for an application to be made to the Court of Protection.
‘We are committed to supporting contact arrangements as set out in the court order.’
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